wait what

when I can't speak, I write.


I want more than a ring,

A stone,

That might weigh me down.

I do not need a confirmation,

Of love. Continue reading “Independence”

We Started as Seeds

We started as seeds

Safe in the soil


Shielded from the stampede above

We flourished

In our oblivious home.

Continue reading “We Started as Seeds”

Looking to the Future

I look forward to the day it doesn’t cross my mind,

To the week where it disappears,

I am excited for the months when it does not control me,

The year I farewell it. Continue reading “Looking to the Future”


Pieces of the Puzzle

I can’t be who you want,

I can’t be who you need,

I can’t even be me.


With all the expectations

And disappointments

I am prone to failure

I can never succeed. Continue reading “Pieces of the Puzzle”

The Moon

Her skin illuminates as if it were the moon,

Softly lighting the way

If you are brave enough to face her Continue reading “The Moon”

This Girl

Seeing someone’s soul is an honor,

This girl,

Her soul the color coral

Pale and fine

Delicate and strong

Protective and loyal. Continue reading “This Girl”

Being Helped

Everyone says it will get easier once you ask for help. Maybe for some, but my journey has not been smooth, it is a stormy sea that endlessly hits me. It feels good to finally be able to reveal all your problems to a professional. Then you tell another. And another. It is exhausting. Continue reading “Being Helped”

I Am Okay

I am okay.

For once the clouds don’t linger

No longer I am left with a bitter taste

A lasting reminder

Of my failures. Continue reading “I Am Okay”

New Twitter Account

Check out Haz Aburn (@eccentric_nun):

It Would 

It would be nice for someone to believe in me.

To trust me as I am right now.

All my flaws and misgivings,

That I could still be good at something,

Great even. Continue reading “It Would “

The Fog

There is a constant hum,

A dull buzz shielding my sight

Nothing drives me

Passions and flames are extinguished. Continue reading “The Fog”


It is interesting to see how people kill each other. Slowly twisting their knives, through love and affection. Is that truly the normal college experience, or is our fictional hell a reality. Has the devil scattered his demons and stripped the youth of their conscience. Continue reading “Preface”

It’s A Dreadful Day

The rain is pelting against my coat,

Gluing my jeans to my frozen legs

The wind nips at my face Continue reading “It’s A Dreadful Day”


Yesterday, I was told the truth about myself

No one ever sees through the façade

I stared straight through her

My only option to agree Continue reading “Yesterday”

Innocence in death

They had always told me to fear death, he was a hard truth that no one wanted to face

Some were even too scared to fully embrace life

But not I.

I embraced the eventuality of death, she was not something that I feared

Just a sacrifice to live life

So I did. Continue reading “Innocence in death”


I think it started when I was twelve.

By thirteen it had already tried to take me.

I was alone at fourteen. Continue reading “Twelve”


I can see your halo tonight

In the twilight of us

But the worst is about to settle with a bitter frost on our hearts

As we depart from each other’s world’s

No longer providing

The light and fire in our sight Continue reading “Halo”

Rugby vs. (American) Football

I am an avid rugby fan. It’s in my blood, and pretty much written across my birth certificate. Because I am New Zealander. Continue reading “Rugby vs. (American) Football”

Watch Your Step

Watch your step, they are waiting

With bright flashes, trees and ink

Pests in the daylight

But you work in the dusk Continue reading “Watch Your Step”

I Lost You in Autumn

I lost you in Autumn.

The leaves were falling

Screaming as I crushed them

My melancholy walk haunting

The pavement and my home

Our graveyard my setting Continue reading “I Lost You in Autumn”

The Path

What have I done?

I’m scared of the person I have become

The old familiar path

I only discover when I’m lost Continue reading “The Path”

NZ and USA

“So what is the biggest difference between New Zealand and America?”

People think this is a simple question, and honestly I try to answer it. But there are so many different ways that I can interpret it. Continue reading “NZ and USA”

In Love With My Crazy Beautiful Life

A lot of people share their self love or that they could only love someone once they learned to love themselves, but often it’s the struggles that we forget. The struggles that made us human, and made us alive. Continue reading “In Love With My Crazy Beautiful Life”

If You Read This

    If you read this, know that you are loved. There is someone out there who wants to hold you gaze. They replay the words that dance from your lips. There is someone who always thinks of you, at your best and your worst. Continue reading “If You Read This”


    I have been told that elephants never forget,

    But people like me must have a similar soul,

    The grey clouds us, a mirage of strength.

    We are vulnerable in the wild. Continue reading “Elephants”

    Don’t Cry

    She always said

    Honey, please don’t cry

    Don’t show them weakness

    Don’t show them you are hurting inside,

    Be a happy girl. Continue reading “Don’t Cry”


    Dear Friend,

    I just wanted to thank-you for always being there for me,

    For knowing everything about me,

    Understanding my dreams and aspirations,

    Understanding my fears and weaknesses.

    I thought you were sympathetic, empathetic.

    You were able to turn this against me

    Turn our friendship into pain.

    Continue reading “Thank-You”

    A Dancing Flicker

    There it sits, quietly flickering.

    Trembling in the light, skipping from the dark.

    It’s a game, and the flame is winning.

    The red paste is melting from the amber movements.

    It becomes liquid in the twirling candle. Continue reading “A Dancing Flicker”


    I never realised, how the happiest of memories could fill me with regret.

    How they could squeeze my heart, oozing pain through to my fingertips.

    They were beautiful at the time but they bring hurt now.

    The wounds have been opened, but they were not evident before. Continue reading “Memories”

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